Craziness!

Yup, the title is what i am all about!

But yesterday i found out that most of my co-interns at E27 are just as crazy!

We went all the way from Kent Ridge to Bedok for dinner! Bedok 85 was the destination…Bedok Sempkang (hope the spelling’s correct) was where we ended up in after a few minutes of loafing around the closed Bedok 85 hawker centre!

Then, movie marathon time! What with speakers not functioning their best, and movie choosing taking the longest time ever, we still managed to watch 2 movies – and let me tell you, STEP UP 2 rocks justa as much as STEP UP did!

At 4 am, decide to drive to West Coast Park..climbed the pyramid..then had Mac Donalds breakfast!

And embedded in all this were leslie’s random comments, robin’s lack of sleep highness, and robin’s complaints!

I think E27 is a perfect place for me in many ways! I’m gonna miss this place when i leave!

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People always leave…

Invited

Hid

Entered

Stole

Revealed

Stuck on

And now, left.

Yes, people always leave, and i’m a great believer of those words of Peyton.

I have tried to get used to it, but not very successfully.

But this time, it has a greater effect because of the way you left, the words before you left, and your words at present.

I’m glad SEP is coming up!!

Change…

Change is constant and evident – in everything, but the hardest to accept is when people change!!!

I have pushed myself to try to accept the changes, but sometimes it’s just too damn hard, especially if the change is for the worse…But when i was actually thinking about people and how much they have changed, i started reflecting on how much i have changed over the past few years especially over the last 2!

Maturity – needless to say, has increased a great deal (no, don’t roll ur eyes now, it’s definitely true). Living alone, practically moving out, making all sorts of decisions on mu own, learning to really take responsibilty for all all my decisions, choosing between really hard choices, and so much more…

Carefree:Not so much so – I used to be the very bubbly and cheery type of girl all the time. No one ever caught me “not smiling” all the time…and everyone used to comment on this…Many loved this aspect of me, but some, ofcourse, thought that i was being childish. I of course liked it – the smile came naturally (it was definitely not a fake one worn all the time, and till people pointed it out, i din’t really notice it), the always carefree personality – it was what i was (and part of me still is)…but this doesn’t mean i used to wave away my responsibilities and such..ask anyone – i was considered to be one of the most trustworthy ppl on any sort of project.

But well, the carefree-ness has changed now. I can feel it. Guess it comes with the growing up. And the amount i’ve been through the last few years! But i don’t really like it. The bubbliness, the talkative feature, the outgoing feature…has reduced, but well..when i’m on the “hyper” mode, it all just comes back to me!

Openness – I just used to be open, and blurt out everything on the spot. No, this does not mean spilling out people’s secrets. This means, i always gave my honest opinion on almost everything..wait maybe everything. But now, i always think. Except maybe, when someone is wearing something horriblle, and this person is someone i personally know, then i just blurt it out. Same goes when it’s a compliment, and sometimes, i do that to people i don’t know very well also. Sometimes they get freaked out by my openness, but :P…But seriously, i think i really hold back alot of things, cos i seem to think more than twice about giving my opinion, or about being honest with things. Maybe, because now i really consider the weightage of what i’m about to say, or because i somehow have become gutless to face reality, or maybe just because its a part of my growing up! BUt whatever it maybe, it sucks – cos now its just in my head all the time…and sometimes, all these thoughts just start coming out, and then i feel like i’m about to burst!!!

And of course there have been so many other factors that have changed, and maybe some of you all are not able to accept it, and sometimes, even i am not able to accept them, but alot of it is inevitable, and try as i may, i can’t go back to the old me…and try as i may, i will not be able to avoid some of those “old” characteristics of mine coming back to me once in a while!

But there are definitely things that have not changed – the most important one being that i still love the people i used to love then…from parents to friends – and that’s something i hope will never change!

Sigh…

I’m stressed…and i’m panicking!

ALOT of things on my mind, and all need my attention NOW!

I need a hug, and someone to hold my hands and say “Everything is going to be alright”

Sigh

Rata Jaathiya venuven lamai

When one partner is brown, and the other is a Caucasian, or even a Chinese, their kids end up being absolutely gorgeous!! Their skin tone is amazingly beautiful!

And as such, lassie, damitha ayya and myself have come to a conclusion.

We should get married to a Caucasian…and Damitha ayya, ofcourse, has the opportunity to choose btw a Chinese and a Caucasian…(well, lassie and i left out Chinese cos Chinese men and brown girls couples are a rare feature)…

And by getting married to a one, we are actually trying to serve our country, and make our parents happy. Wondering how?

Well you see,

Country – When the kids grow up to teenagers, an young adults, they’ll be damn bloody hot! And they’ll be Sri Lankan in roots! And so Sri Lanka will have a reputation for hot girls and guys – which rocks!

Parents – Come on, which grandparents wouldn’t be happy and proud to have really goodlooking grandchildren now?

So there you see, being the “selfles” ppl we are we are all doing it for the benefit of others, and for no other reason at all!:D

Goodbye

Sometimes i wish things won’t change so much…

You know it was just not my fault..

U were to blame too..

Definitely…

Maybe i should not have hung on so long..

Maybe i should not have looked for that second chance to come along

Maybe i should have just forgotten, and moved on

But i didn’t

Because i couldn’t

And now, i don’t think i ever will be able to..

But i know the time has come..

To really let go..let go of every little bit

All 4.5 years of memories….sweet and bitter both

To really move away

Like what you always do

But its not easy..no definitely not

But this time around, i have decided..

Leaving everything behind is what i should do

All the good memories, all the unforgettable ones

All the arguments, all the bitterness…

All the insecurities…small and big..

And so, it’s goodbye..

And this time, its for real!

– Author not disclosed

My own house

If and when i get my own house, i want it to have

– A swing on the terrace

– A huge bathtub

– A pool, a pool, a pool (let’s ignore the fact that i can’t swim for now ok?)

– A badminton court

– A home theatre system

– And ofcourse some hotties living around:)

Oh and i would want it to be a beach house (i’ve always wanted to live in a farm, but not throughout my entire life)…Imagine a life of just relaxing by the pool/beach reading a book, drawing pretty pictures, and capturing some amazing photos…ah bliss!

Ok now back to reality niths!!!!!

What i need right now

– A foot massage

– No lets make it a whole body massage

– A few slices of chocolate fudge cake from FAB

– A strawberry milk ice from NUS

– A massage

– A personal organizer

– and a nice warm tub bath filled with all sorts of aromatic oils!

Anyway on another note, i finally know what it feels like to work in the other end of this island, to travel to and from there by public transport, and to have a job that involves no sitting whatsoever!

P.S. I really need a massage…

P.P.S I miss “alot” of people…life can be unfair at times…

Ok the post got a bit random..but nevertheless..i shall not edit it:)

T-shirts?

Last Saturday was “try-to-get-my-phone-fixed” day at Plaza Sing/orchard with Damitha ayya…where he bought a couple of T-shirts…and then, he realized he couldn’t carry the t-shirts to the birthday party he was attending, and so, he asked me to take them back..and promised to collect them from me soon..

And the soon was today (more than a week has passed), and he msged me to get them from me. Somehow, the series of msgs ended up with him inviting me and las over to his place for dinner. And the purpose of this dinner – so that he gets his T-shirts!!!

But what happened in the end – Yours truly very conveniently forgot the T-shirts, and only remembered on the way to his place in the bus!

Now the t-shirts are lying on table in a blue Baleno bag…and i’m sure they are gonna remain there till next weekend, atleast!

But, then again, it would be the perfect opportunity for us to get more of Pavi ayya’s delicious home cooked food! 😛

As i lie awake

As i lie awake, tired and sleepy, the thoughts that fill my head just prevent me from dozing off to dreamland… All sorts of random thoughts, from stuff to do with SEP, to E27 to home… I think i’ve been too involved in just some things, and have neglected everything else for the past few weeks… and now i realize that these things that i’ve neglected need more than alot of attention from me..and that’s where things come almost crashing down!

Somehow, right now, everything seems to be a mess. I’ve been feeling quite depressed for the last few days..and somehow its not for any apparent reason! There’s no concentration in everything i do! Even my photoshop seems to have backed out on me!

I feel lost and lonely. I don’t know why. All i know is it’s definitely not because people around me don’t care. They definitely do, alot more than i think they do!

Maybe it’s because i’m scared to admit to things, to accept certain things, to let go, and to move on…But i must, if i am to be happier.

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