Change…

Change is constant and evident – in everything, but the hardest to accept is when people change!!!

I have pushed myself to try to accept the changes, but sometimes it’s just too damn hard, especially if the change is for the worse…But when i was actually thinking about people and how much they have changed, i started reflecting on how much i have changed over the past few years especially over the last 2!

Maturity – needless to say, has increased a great deal (no, don’t roll ur eyes now, it’s definitely true). Living alone, practically moving out, making all sorts of decisions on mu own, learning to really take responsibilty for all all my decisions, choosing between really hard choices, and so much more…

Carefree:Not so much so – I used to be the very bubbly and cheery type of girl all the time. No one ever caught me “not smiling” all the time…and everyone used to comment on this…Many loved this aspect of me, but some, ofcourse, thought that i was being childish. I of course liked it – the smile came naturally (it was definitely not a fake one worn all the time, and till people pointed it out, i din’t really notice it), the always carefree personality – it was what i was (and part of me still is)…but this doesn’t mean i used to wave away my responsibilities and such..ask anyone – i was considered to be one of the most trustworthy ppl on any sort of project.

But well, the carefree-ness has changed now. I can feel it. Guess it comes with the growing up. And the amount i’ve been through the last few years! But i don’t really like it. The bubbliness, the talkative feature, the outgoing feature…has reduced, but well..when i’m on the “hyper” mode, it all just comes back to me!

Openness – I just used to be open, and blurt out everything on the spot. No, this does not mean spilling out people’s secrets. This means, i always gave my honest opinion on almost everything..wait maybe everything. But now, i always think. Except maybe, when someone is wearing something horriblle, and this person is someone i personally know, then i just blurt it out. Same goes when it’s a compliment, and sometimes, i do that to people i don’t know very well also. Sometimes they get freaked out by my openness, but :P…But seriously, i think i really hold back alot of things, cos i seem to think more than twice about giving my opinion, or about being honest with things. Maybe, because now i really consider the weightage of what i’m about to say, or because i somehow have become gutless to face reality, or maybe just because its a part of my growing up! BUt whatever it maybe, it sucks – cos now its just in my head all the time…and sometimes, all these thoughts just start coming out, and then i feel like i’m about to burst!!!

And of course there have been so many other factors that have changed, and maybe some of you all are not able to accept it, and sometimes, even i am not able to accept them, but alot of it is inevitable, and try as i may, i can’t go back to the old me…and try as i may, i will not be able to avoid some of those “old” characteristics of mine coming back to me once in a while!

But there are definitely things that have not changed – the most important one being that i still love the people i used to love then…from parents to friends – and that’s something i hope will never change!

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