Morissons!

I miss Morrisons. I was just reading off a blog, and realized how much i missed the place, and the cheap cheap everything there!!!

But oh well, i can’t really complain, considering the fact that i do have ladies nights to look forward to here. You only spend about 4 bucks on the cab, and the rest are free of charge!!! And even if not, Dbl O has got the cheapest cocktails ever!

But there’s just one huge pillar in front of me which refuses to move, or let me move around it! And that’s NUS! I can’t afford one night out every week over here  now, can I?

Dammit, i want to be on exchange again!

I am a happy girl:D

BECAUSE:

1. I love the hangouts with the girls

2. I love the RnB

3. I love the nonsensical talks and getting high on chocolates

4. I love the wardrobe

5. I love the modules, and the Eustress

6. I love the way some things are not progressing

7. I love the way some things are progressing

8. I love MSN

9. I love Skype

10. I love lots of people.

I’m beginning to think this semester is going to be alot of fun:D

DO NOT!

Do NOT gaze at the hot guy a few metres away from you when you are carrying your lunch on a tray down the stairs.

Cos the result will be painful and Embarassing.

Painful = Swollen black and blue knee + money spent on a wasted lunch

Embarassing = construction workers laughing and hooting at you

gahh..i just wanted to melt into the floor then and there!

Of a dream…

Its been a week, and I am still in denial. In denial about the end of my Exchange. Those 5 months were unbelievable, and so dream like! Every single moment was treasured, every single day cherished and every single month better than the previous.

Of course, before i went on exchange i knew that it was only for 5 months, and that at the end of it, i would not wanna come back. But, when the end actually came, these feelings were worse than i thought they would be. During my last few days in Budapest, i just wanted to hold on to every single moment really really tightly and never let go. It was a feeling i am unable to express in words. Yes, when i left the place that had been a second home to me for 15 years (my school), i did feel somewhat like this. But then, i knew that, even if not as a student, i would still go back to school. And I would still see my besties again, though may be not as frequently.

But exchange is different. Its been such a great experience, and has taught me too many lessons, and given me an uncountable number of memories that leaving it behind seems impossible. And the worst part is that i do not know if i will ever go back there again. If i will ever meet those lovely people i became so close to ever again? And that’s what depresses me the most.

Back in Singapore, it’s been great meeting up with people, and living through the familiarities. But, a part of me seems to be missing over here. Like i’ve left it behind in Europe. And as Yen said – everything here seems to be the same, yet different. Its all weird, and i am still lost and disoriented. I feel like a freshie all over again. Maybe this transition would have been easier if my family had been in Singapore. Or if my girlies were here already. Or if i was staying in Hall. But none of these are possible. And so, still disoriented i remain.

Colin told me that soon exchange would just become a dream, when reality of NUS hits you hard in the face. And somehow, as much as i don’t want this to happen, it seems to be the truth. As the days go by, doing all that i did on exchange would seem impossible. And would just seem like a dream.

Avoidance and Ignorance

Today over lunch with a friend, the conversation somehow turned to Ex’s. She told me how her Ex wasn’t talking to her anymore cos supposedly it was too painful for him to see her with another guy. Part of this story sounded familiar. We didn’t linger too much on the topic.

But its something thats been on my mind for some time now.

Everything seemed alright. All sorts of assistance was given. Even tips on the semester abroad. And then suddenly, you find yourself deleted from the FB friends’ list. You find there are no more conversations. You find all means of communication have been disabled.

And then you think to yourself that maybe avoidance is a way for them to get over things. But then, another part of yourself asks you, “Why the sudden avoidance? Why not from the beginning”. And the only plausible answer becomes “Just because you are best source of information. Once all information is gathered, throw it away”. No i do not want to have that opinion, but i can’t seem to come to any other conclusion.

Yes, maybe avoidance is understandable. I guess it would be impossible for 2 ex’s to be best of friends, especially if one of them has already found another partner. But i don’t understand why they can’t be friends. Unless of course, one person did something awfully horrible to hurt the other person. So maybe, you would like to avoid unnecessary conversations with the person. But you do not have to ignore the person completely and not give the person even slight acknowledgement right?

With so many mutual friends, and with living in the same bloody residence on campus it is impossible to avoid. And when it is so, ignorance does not work. It’s just awkward, and weird. Especially when amongst a group of friends. And they know it. And they still continue to do it, provoking stories and dinner conversations for other people.

Leaving on a Jet plane

I’m seated here, spending my last night, or rather last few hours in Budapest, with my head swarming with loads of mixed feeelings.

On the one hand, i want to get back for nostalgic purposes, and meet up with friends, and be showered with their love. On the other hand, i do NOT want to leave beautiful Europe! There’s too much here that i have yet to see, experience and live. And there’s too much i’ve experienced here to let go.

Anyway, no use writing a long post now. Its time to go out, and hold on to every little thing Budapest has to offer, cos i don’t know when i’ll be back again!