Of a dream…

Its been a week, and I am still in denial. In denial about the end of my Exchange. Those 5 months were unbelievable, and so dream like! Every single moment was treasured, every single day cherished and every single month better than the previous.

Of course, before i went on exchange i knew that it was only for 5 months, and that at the end of it, i would not wanna come back. But, when the end actually came, these feelings were worse than i thought they would be. During my last few days in Budapest, i just wanted to hold on to every single moment really really tightly and never let go. It was a feeling i am unable to express in words. Yes, when i left the place that had been a second home to me for 15 years (my school), i did feel somewhat like this. But then, i knew that, even if not as a student, i would still go back to school. And I would still see my besties again, though may be not as frequently.

But exchange is different. Its been such a great experience, and has taught me too many lessons, and given me an uncountable number of memories that leaving it behind seems impossible. And the worst part is that i do not know if i will ever go back there again. If i will ever meet those lovely people i became so close to ever again? And that’s what depresses me the most.

Back in Singapore, it’s been great meeting up with people, and living through the familiarities. But, a part of me seems to be missing over here. Like i’ve left it behind in Europe. And as Yen said – everything here seems to be the same, yet different. Its all weird, and i am still lost and disoriented. I feel like a freshie all over again. Maybe this transition would have been easier if my family had been in Singapore. Or if my girlies were here already. Or if i was staying in Hall. But none of these are possible. And so, still disoriented i remain.

Colin told me that soon exchange would just become a dream, when reality of NUS hits you hard in the face. And somehow, as much as i don’t want this to happen, it seems to be the truth. As the days go by, doing all that i did on exchange would seem impossible. And would just seem like a dream.


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