Sheares? Or RVR?

I can’t make up my mind if i should appeal to get back into hall. Supposedly there are some rooms available now, and if i email the respective authorities, i should be able to get in. Supposedly.

But do i want to? Well, if you had asked me this a couple of months ago, or just after the accom results came out, or even, just before i came back, i would have jumped at the opportunity. But now, I am hesitating for a variety of reasons.

Saved somewhere in my drafts is a half completed post on not living in Sheares anymore. I somehow couldn’t get myself to finish it and post it up. but now, i feel like re writing what i wanted to say in that post.

Initial reaction when i was not offered sheares was ofcourse anger, and hurt. But then, when you are on SEP, you never dwell on these things. After feeling all depressed about it for sometime, i just didn’t give any thought to it.

It was only when i came back to NUS, that i felt the real effect of not being in Sheares anymore. It was just like first year all over again, getting used to a new place, new people (ok, not really cos i don’t even know my neighbours!). But you get what i mean! It was weird taking the 96 instead of the 183, running into more Lankans then Shearites, having to look for food every meal of the day and just small little things like that, which made me wish i was back in Sheares again.

And then, there’s the IHG going on. Sometimes i just want to go down, and support the peeps out there. But it feels weird. Like i don’t belong there anymore. Like people will be whispering behind my back about “how i used to be in Sheares once, but couldn’t get back in again”. And so, i refrained from cheering on the orange dudes and dudettes.

And of course, there were, and still are, those people who ask me, “Where are you staying now? Sheares right?”, or those even more innocent questions “So, which room are you in now?” Of course, you know how much i hate replying to those questions cos the answer is just something i don’t like to mouth out.

And then there were those people who would ask me, with all the sarcasm they could gather, “So, what happened to that TeamSheares of yours?”, and all i could reply with was, “Erm they didn’t have any rooms, so i couldn’t get in”. And then they would, ever so “subtly” hint at how involved in Hall i was to have turned them down for many a things before. And i could not reply. Not a word. Yes, Nithiya has been speechless, however hard that maybe for some to believe!

And so, this slight resentment that i had felt towards hall when i first got rejected was just intensified over the first few weeks.

And then, i somehow got used to living in RVR. Hanging out more with the girls, and with others that I never got the opportunity to do when i was in Sheares. And the transition has been quite good, better than what i thought it would be.

Also the concept of second choice does not sound “Nithiya-ish”. I know it sounds childish, BUT i still would stick to my rule of either being first option or nothing at all (except under certain circumstances of course). Especially cos the last time i checked, me agreeing to be the second choice for something did not turn out to be good…actually no where close to that!

So despite all these concerns, should i still try to get back into hall?? I don’t know!!!


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