I do what my instincts ask me to, and i don’t need to explain!

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If I could turn back time, would I?

Its not a regretless life, but its not like I sit and pine over those regrets everyday..

But if i had the chance to turn back time, would I want to.

If we go back to OL’s, i guess i still wish i could have done things way different, I wish I could have had the chance. If things had worked out well, I possibly might be well in the midst of an extremely stable career and relationship as well. But if they hadn’t, I don’t know what would have happened? Would it be like what it is now? Or would it be any different?

But maybe i would not change anything then, just cos it helped develop my perspective on alot of things. It helped me make what I am today. It has made me yearn for something after a really long time.

And then, would i change my response to that one thing on my 16th birthday? That one thing that has so defined me, that has made me the victim of so many millions of false accusations, that has led to nights of tears.

But thinking about it, i know i won’t. cos the memories are worth everything. The good moments, the laughter, the happiness, and the love and care.

Ofcourse certain other incidents, small small ones – some which i would have never thought of myself to do and some that I was trapped into. These ones, i would definitely change if i could.

But why this post now? Something that happened very very recently sparked it off. Something i know may not be right, but felt right to me. I just hope that once again, friendships are not spoilt by wrong judgements.

Reflecting in my favorite spot – the rooftop

As a calm breeze blows by, trees around me, music in the background, and photoshop to keep me company…

 

A lunch once in a while, a gift for a birthday or so – would not have hurt you, you know? Especially since, you always seemed to have money for expensive “tea”s and dinners.

 

And now, apparently its some random gift..

 

It just hurts sometimes to know how much I’ve been taken for granted.

 

But it’s ok, cos I know, that I possibly had stuff to be at fault also. And that maybe I didn’t give my 100% towards the end of it all, when I realized other things about me, that could have been more detrimental if we had gone on.

;)

It did not upset me. Rather it just made me laugh.

I guess i was the guinea pig eh.

But its all good;)

A reason to smile

I have a reason to smile – a very good one at that 😀

And I think its worth sacrificing everything just for that reason:)

And the song i’ve been listening to these days on repeat, I’ll be there for you – Bonjovi! Yes, i know its kinda old and all that, but then again its an awesome song! Must get Surath ayya to sing it to me one of these days 😛 And here it is, not the best quality or version, but its good nevertheless;)

Go get yourself a room, please!

A lot of the readers of my blog already know my views on this, but i was so disgusted today morning, that i’ve decided to post an entry. And yes, this is regarding all those couples who seriously need to learn how to behave in public!

I was at YIH having some breakfast today morning, pondering over the deadlines this week has in store for me, when a couple (i’m sure they had sex last night, btw), sat right in front of me. While they walked to that table, they were glued to each other. Then the boyfriend walked to get food, and while he was in the queue, he kept turning back to smile and blow kisses at the girlfriend. NO I AM NOT kidding! urgh! then when they got breakfast they started feeding each other, amidst every 30second makeout sessions! Oh, God i seriously felt like puking!

I’m not against affection, or love, or romance. I’m a hopeless romantic actually (I blame the fairy tales for this), and a firm believer of love and its related happiness. But i’m dead against public display of intimate affection. I do understand a goodbye kiss when the girl/guy separate paths for the day, or one of those sudden impulses to kiss them – one simple short kiss. It is natural. But DO NOT constantly make out in public places, especially school canteens, public transport, random crowded places like malls, and oh god, Libraries! these places are meant for other things!

And you do NOT need to be constantly holding hands now, do you? I mean, yes, you are a couple blah blah blah. But its not like the girl or the guy is going to run away you know?! And you do not have to be around the person ALL the time! I know of couples who are doing the same major, and thus end up in the same classes, have all meals of their day together, study together, and even pretty much live in each other’s rooms? I mean, don’t they each have a need for their own personal space? I would feel so bloody clusterphobic if this happened to me!!!! Sighs! There are those couples who are in the same major and stuff, but who do take their time off to have some personal space you know! One good example would be this Singaporean Indian couple i sort of know. Towards such couples, i really feel happy, and from the bottom of my heart, hope things work out for them in the end!

Gah, how i wish couples could just understand the fact that no one around them is interested in seeing them make out – and on the contrary, are actually quite disgusted at such behaviour! It just tends to make people around you puke!!!

And let me tell you, before i end off, NO, it is not characteristic of all Western couples, as people would say. Yes, you probably would see more couples making out on the street, but its never as disgusting cos they don’t prolong it, or make it all mushy mushy for people around. I’ve been to some of the most romantic places in Europe, and even there i haven’t seen such pukish behavior. Of course, there were too many couples to a point of depression for all of us there (considering we were either single or our boyfriends were not with us there ie Long distance), but none of it ever made me angry or disgusted. SO please, go get yourselves a life, or a room! And end of Bitchy post!!!

I am so piseeed offf! bloody bullshit!

I think i wanted to post this up almost a week back, but the excessive workload kept me from doing so. But, the fact still remains – I miss SP! I absolutely loved working with the crew last year, and this year it would have been awesome to have been a part of SP in some way or the other:(

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Truth is, it does not bother me as much as it is supposed to. And that’s a good thing, i guess. But, it does bother me somewhat, and thats not such a god thing. It somehow all seems to be purposefully done, which is the beauty of it all!

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A few good things happening to a very good friend, and I’m more than happy :D. Somehow it just makes me smile whenever i even think about it;)

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I’ve been splurging on junk food! And lots of Mysore Paah courtesy Mahesh. As Sangee mentioned, i just might end up dying way sooner than I am supposed to, if i continue along these lines. Damn, I think SRC tracks beckons!

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Time to reflect. Its been a week of learning, be it my assignments, the Interview, the exam, or the conversations with some people. I think i’ve learn more and reflected upon myself this week more than i’ve in a long time. Feels good:)

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I think i screwed up DSC32o3 exam, and that’s such a bad note to end the post on, but there’s nothing more to say for now!

Alot’s being said..

I really hope things will be ok. I really hope its nothing serious. I love them loads, even if they don’t really know it.

I’m scared and worried to death. Atleast i spoke to you:). Thank you for listening. I love you loads too ❤

And I’m just going to keep believing in God. And hope faith will help us.

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Is it going to be like this from now on? I pray not. And to be honest, there is nothing I can do.

Like he told me, i’m just hoping u understand, and you know priorities for different people lie in different things.

And I do really hope you know that there’s a lot more than just that. Why you can’t understand, sometimes i don’t understand.

I still don’t know why such petty things become such big issues..sigh

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Somethings are just going to be this way. Ever since that one day, i had decided.

I’ve tried to see if I can change myself to make things easier, but it does not seem to be happening. I’m sorry.

And I’m still hurt by the things you did. And by the things you didn’t do.

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I miss my school friends a tad too much. Physical distance can sometimes be so much of a barrier. I ❤ u all to bits, not just one or 2 people 🙂

My birthday month

And so i did the birthday thing on facebok, and this was the result…

Has lots of extraordinary ideas. Difficult to fathom. Think forward. Unique. Brilliant. Sharp thinking. Fine, strong clairvoyance. make good doctors. Dynamic. Secretive. Inquisitive. Know how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative. amiable. Brave. generous. Patient. Stubborn. hardhearted. Determined. Never quit. Hardly become angry unless provoked. Love to be alone. Think differently. Sharp-minded. Motivate self. Doesn’t appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built, tough. Deep love, emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest. Keeps secrets. Cant control emotions. Unpredictable.

Actually for the most part, this is true! And so i’m amused:P

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